my beloved Ren....

my dearest Ren...haa...why did Ren die..? it's impossible..it doesn't even make any sense...i was all sober and depressed now...i love you a lot REN!! *sob*

love..is meaningless...

hey..have you ever wondered why we have to love..? i just understand why love exist anyway. isn't it better if everyone in this world can't love or feel anything? it hurts to love cuz you'll cry over sad things, you get jealous when someone tried to steal your love ones away, you'll get angry when your love ones can't understand you the way you want them to. don't you think it's worthless to think and do such things..? i don't wanna think about love or things like who'll get together with in the future. it's suffering to this kind of things because i know i'll cry if i get hurt and i know i won't be able to breathe even a bit of hope through this kind of things....

why do you want to love?
i know loving someone is special and you can feel happiness...
i know that loving someone can give us even a linger of hope to live and continue our walk to the future...
i know that you won't have to feel lonely when you love someone...but..
do you know..? loving someone means you'll have to sacrifice everything...every single thing that you cherish the most...
you have to be strong and always have faith in those people you love...
but...it's suffering to see and hear yourself crying in the middle of the night...
when you get hurt...
when you feel like there's no point in living anymore...

i don't want to feel all those pain...even if i have to be alone all the time...

a little pain

jean (a.k.a teen poh) published the romanji version and english version of a little pain in her blog, so i'll publish the real original one!! ahahaha...as if you can read what the song's about...


A little Pain

Travel to the moon,
君 は 眠り、夢 を とく
誰 も いない、星 の 光
阿多つり ながら

強く なる ため
忘れた 笑顔
きっと 二人 なら、取り戻す

築いて
I'm here waiting for you
今 と は 違う 未来 が あって も
I'm here waiting for you
叫び　つずけて
きっと 心 は
つなぐ 糸 は 手繰ってる
あの ころ の 私
目 を 覚ます よう に
No need to cry

Travel in silence
手 を 伸ばせば、触れる の に
君 は 遠い、それ は
思い出 の 中 の こと

声 が 聞こえる
目 を 閉じれば
小さな 痛み さえ
いとしくて

見つめて
I'm here waiting for you
風 に 吹かれ
一人 迷って も
I'm here waiting for you
空 を 見上げて
ずっと 心 は
手 を 広げて 守ってる
あの ころ の 君 が
振り返る まで
No need to cry

shadow of love rocks!

since i translated recorded butterflies into the original script, i might as well do the same for shadow of love...ah! this song is so meaningful...and it's really sad too....


誓い の 指輪
二人 の 赤い 糸
今 は 見えない
約束 も ない けど

つないだ 手 を 離さないで
真実 なら 間悪しい だけ
この まま

Trust in me
たとえ ほどけても
記憶 は 絆 を 消せない
Will you trust in me
指先 で たどる 星 見える でしょう

目 を そらさず に
初めて　伝えよう
瞳 に 移る
あなた が その 人


この あやう憂げ な 界 さえ
超えて 行ける と 信じる だけ
あなた と

Trust in me
別々 の 空 に
訪れる 夜明け の 中 で　
Will you trust in me
夢 の 中 何度 でも
会える　でしょう

Recorded Butterflies-original script

yay! i finally managed to translate Recorded Butterflies into the original script!! see..? it's much better this way but i don't think so you understand what i'm writing right..? but this song is really nice so go check it out! i'll post the song up in my blog when i have time...


Recorded Butterflies in the twilight,
Sneak out the closet,
記憶はやさしすぎて残酷,
Quietly stealing the magic,
from my view,
さめない 夢　alone.

Stay with me tonight,
この 涙 空 で 輝ける よう に,
Stay with me tonight,
降り注ぐ ダイヤ の しずく,
Reflect my eyes.

I bury it in the back garden,
Cover it with sticks and leaves
隠した 痛み の 声 あふれて,
Pink avalanches crash down,
And seal my eyelids
凍えた まま の my heart.
Stay with me tonight,
流れる 星 暑く 闇 を すべる
Stay with me tonight,
光 受け 思い出させて Hold me.

Stay with me tonight,
あなた と なら 雨 に も 打たれよう...

なぜ私の恋はこんなに重いですか？

どうしてなのかな　
テレビや雑誌の中では
恋は楽しくて、　幸せそうな色をして
並んでいるのに　
私の恋はどうして、こんあに重たくていやらしいのだろう？
いいつたいい何を祈ればいいんだろう？