さいごの果実

探してばかりの僕たちは
鏡のようによく似てるから
向き合うだけで繋がるのに
触れ合うことはできないまま
目を凝らした
手を伸ばした

化石みたいに眠っている
開かれるのを待ちつずける
雨が降って
時は満ちて

ねえ僕は、僕は知りたい
愛するってどんなこと？
君が微笑むと　世界は少し震えて輝いた
まるで呼吸するように　うごきだした

誰も守れない僕たちは
寝静まる街を駆け出した
水になって
風になって

手に入れるために
争い奪いあえば　空しくて
僕が叫んでも
世界は何も言わずに背を向けた
まるで僕を試すように突き放した

一瞬を
永遠を
はまりを
最果てを

ねえ僕は、僕は知りたい
生きてくってどんなこと？
僕が尋ねると　世界は少し震えて輝いた
僕に眠る真実を　いま静かに解き放つ

Assignments...again...

I'm back to college which means nightmares are back too...it's already week 3! Assignments for digital illustration will be...'soapa, soapa'?! Ergh...something bout creating designs for soap boxes with several themes to choose from. I can't even think properly now let alone designing one! So far, i managed to sketch out 2 sketches...but I'm not sure if Ms.Yar shie will be happy bout it!! (crosses finger) and the another assignment will be creating 2 resumes through html?! That web page lecturer...ergh..he seems so blur...what's next..? mm....oh yeah...i have to get a DSLR camera for photography. (which means money Will be flowing out of my pocket again.) And ghost stories. Like what the heck?! I have to find ghost stories and read them out loud?! It's like primary school. So not fascinating. I'm so not looking forward to anything!

ラブ ラブ！

Are you lost and not sure how to react when you like someone? No matter whether you're a guy or a girl, it's all the same isn't it? Okay, here's a little hint for guys who don't know what to do when the like someone. I'm not a love guru or something but..i'm just kinda sharing what i've read from books. That's all. It's like general knowledge. Okay, before you start telling the girl that you likes her and all, why not try to understand her first? I mean, that's common sense isn't it? Obviously you have to find out what are her favorite things, what she dislike the most and those sort of things.

I do that you know. When i had a crush on this guy that i used to know in secondary school. He came over to my class for Moral class and of course i was so happy and thrilled that i don't even know what I should do. Okay, let's skip this. It'll be a very long story if i tell you this love story of mine. There are many types of girls in this world so you have to first find out what type she categorized in. There's the quiet type, the wild ones, the flirty type, the sporty type and so on. Talking to her more can help you to understand her more. Her actions and all her hand gestures and the way of talking can tell you whether she hates you or she likes you. (when i say 'like' as in normal friend like. Not love 'like')

That's step 1. But is she still refuses to talk to you, don't be so persistent and go all the way out. Girls doesn't like guys who are as persistent as those nasty cockroaches. Give her some time to think and give her some space. I hate guys who are persistent too. They're super annoying. I mean if i tell them a 'no' already and they still keep on pestering me...what do you think that's gonna happen? HELL FOR THEM. So, NEVER EVER DO THAT. Okay, the next step. You can try to talk to her ONCE IN A WHILE. Not everyday okay? Don't send her weird messages and don't always sms her like as if she's your girlfriend already. If you do that, you're hinting on her that you really, really wants to go out with her. Like a desperado.

Talking about desperate, there's this guy in my college who's kinda a bit like a pervert. Let me tell you this story. My college is kinda real big and there's this computer room where all the students get to do their homework and go online and so on. We called it 'CITC'. I forgot what the name. Never mind. So one day, i went there to do my assignment. I have to print some stupid art pictures for my journal. I went online to chat with my college friend bout the journal. I used ebuddy to chat so...every time i logged in, i'll definitely delete my email off. But there's this guy who managed to add me through ebuddy even though i've deleted my email. This guy is a total creep.

I didn't mind at first so i asked him who he is, and how he add me. He kinda gave me lots of crap so i didn't bother him and continue my work. And all of a sudden he asked me whether i've got a boyfriend and whether i've kissed before or not. And i was like...'what the heck is wrong with this guy?' I told him that it was none of his business. I told my friends about it and they told me that he's like those quiet perverted guy and i was so disgusted okay. It must be some freak. He told me who knows where i'm sitting and all. Talk about creepy. And he even asked me to be his girlfriend. LIKE HELL I WOULD!! I don't even know him. i don't even know how he looks like and i've never even talked to him before! yuck.

I don't like guys like this. Anyway, let's continue. Actually, if that girl doesn't have any feelings for you, you might as well give up. If i show that i don't have any interest in them, they'll back off (except those persistent ones.) But, if that girl treats you nice sometimes like on and off, she's just either trying to be nice to you, or just try to make your hopes go up. or, keeping you as a spare tyre. This are the only way you can think. It can also mean that they could have someone they like. Like i said, girl's feelings are always changing. Maybe she acts according to her mood too. We girls are very complex okay? You guys out there can never understand no matter how many times we try to make YOU understand.

i'm back!!

yo people!! i'm back! actually i'm not really fond of writing blogs. it's like you have to update it every time...ergh..it kinda pisses me off. plus i have work and other stuff to do. but it's fun at the same time. i mean it's like your dairy you know. and everybody's like peeking into your life...but of course, there's nothing interesting in my life anyway. hahaha..annyeong haseyo~

my beloved Ren....

my dearest Ren...haa...why did Ren die..? it's impossible..it doesn't even make any sense...i was all sober and depressed now...i love you a lot REN!! *sob*

love..is meaningless...

hey..have you ever wondered why we have to love..? i just understand why love exist anyway. isn't it better if everyone in this world can't love or feel anything? it hurts to love cuz you'll cry over sad things, you get jealous when someone tried to steal your love ones away, you'll get angry when your love ones can't understand you the way you want them to. don't you think it's worthless to think and do such things..? i don't wanna think about love or things like who'll get together with in the future. it's suffering to this kind of things because i know i'll cry if i get hurt and i know i won't be able to breathe even a bit of hope through this kind of things....

why do you want to love?
i know loving someone is special and you can feel happiness...
i know that loving someone can give us even a linger of hope to live and continue our walk to the future...
i know that you won't have to feel lonely when you love someone...but..
do you know..? loving someone means you'll have to sacrifice everything...every single thing that you cherish the most...
you have to be strong and always have faith in those people you love...
but...it's suffering to see and hear yourself crying in the middle of the night...
when you get hurt...
when you feel like there's no point in living anymore...

i don't want to feel all those pain...even if i have to be alone all the time...

a little pain

jean (a.k.a teen poh) published the romanji version and english version of a little pain in her blog, so i'll publish the real original one!! ahahaha...as if you can read what the song's about...


A little Pain

Travel to the moon,
君 は 眠り、夢 を とく
誰 も いない、星 の 光
阿多つり ながら

強く なる ため
忘れた 笑顔
きっと 二人 なら、取り戻す

築いて
I'm here waiting for you
今 と は 違う 未来 が あって も
I'm here waiting for you
叫び　つずけて
きっと 心 は
つなぐ 糸 は 手繰ってる
あの ころ の 私
目 を 覚ます よう に
No need to cry

Travel in silence
手 を 伸ばせば、触れる の に
君 は 遠い、それ は
思い出 の 中 の こと

声 が 聞こえる
目 を 閉じれば
小さな 痛み さえ
いとしくて

見つめて
I'm here waiting for you
風 に 吹かれ
一人 迷って も
I'm here waiting for you
空 を 見上げて
ずっと 心 は
手 を 広げて 守ってる
あの ころ の 君 が
振り返る まで
No need to cry

shadow of love rocks!

since i translated recorded butterflies into the original script, i might as well do the same for shadow of love...ah! this song is so meaningful...and it's really sad too....


誓い の 指輪
二人 の 赤い 糸
今 は 見えない
約束 も ない けど

つないだ 手 を 離さないで
真実 なら 間悪しい だけ
この まま

Trust in me
たとえ ほどけても
記憶 は 絆 を 消せない
Will you trust in me
指先 で たどる 星 見える でしょう

目 を そらさず に
初めて　伝えよう
瞳 に 移る
あなた が その 人


この あやう憂げ な 界 さえ
超えて 行ける と 信じる だけ
あなた と

Trust in me
別々 の 空 に
訪れる 夜明け の 中 で　
Will you trust in me
夢 の 中 何度 でも
会える　でしょう

Recorded Butterflies-original script

yay! i finally managed to translate Recorded Butterflies into the original script!! see..? it's much better this way but i don't think so you understand what i'm writing right..? but this song is really nice so go check it out! i'll post the song up in my blog when i have time...


Recorded Butterflies in the twilight,
Sneak out the closet,
記憶はやさしすぎて残酷,
Quietly stealing the magic,
from my view,
さめない 夢　alone.

Stay with me tonight,
この 涙 空 で 輝ける よう に,
Stay with me tonight,
降り注ぐ ダイヤ の しずく,
Reflect my eyes.

I bury it in the back garden,
Cover it with sticks and leaves
隠した 痛み の 声 あふれて,
Pink avalanches crash down,
And seal my eyelids
凍えた まま の my heart.
Stay with me tonight,
流れる 星 暑く 闇 を すべる
Stay with me tonight,
光 受け 思い出させて Hold me.

Stay with me tonight,
あなた と なら 雨 に も 打たれよう...

なぜ私の恋はこんなに重いですか？

どうしてなのかな　
テレビや雑誌の中では
恋は楽しくて、　幸せそうな色をして
並んでいるのに　
私の恋はどうして、こんあに重たくていやらしいのだろう？
いいつたいい何を祈ればいいんだろう？

no tears, nothing.

why does my blog sound and feel so emo-ish..? oh well..haha..do you guys think i am..? like emo and such..? anyway i really don't know what i should write now. my brain's empty. my eyes are empty. my pockets are empty. whatever else is empty. i'm 18 and i still don't understand why i can't escape from this terrifying and horrible world i'm in right now. i wish i could fly to north pole...wait, where are the penguins living again? i wanna be with all the cute cute penguins and cuddle them. i wanna stay at a place where it's quiet and no chaos will ever happen there. and i'm waiting just the right person to take me there. ( hahaha..like waiting for my soulmate...swt..) anyway...oh..i like penguins. ( now that's so random, i know.)

>_< sorry!

oh yes i forgot to mention this...to those who can't really read english or something like that, you can actually change the language but err..i'm not sure if i put up that setting or not...most of my friends speaks mandarin and i don't know how to write in mandarin so...i mean yeah i'm a chinese but i'm a half banana. i can't write a single word regarding to chinese characters. i'm a failure as a chinese. hahaha..well i'll try to set up that language thing but im not sure if the contents in my blog will be the same as the original one or not. i mean, who knows right? chinese characters are different from english words. what if they change my original contents which doesn't have any foul words in it to something that has foul words..? well i'll still try to set it up for my friend's convenience...>_<

they're just making a fool out of themselves

and as i was saying, what they're doing right now is really something stupid you know. i really feel like laughing at them. well as what people say, guys like to make themselves look like a dork. they like to act cool but to me, they're just some sore losers. i hate this type of guys. seriously. AND, i forgot to mention something. last week, during a lecture class, his idiotic friend was like pointing and looking at me and i guess he was telling his friends about me. oh, i forgot that i didn't tell you what actually happened before this right? but the stories is really long so i don't wanna talk about it. if he wanna talk about me, he can but why the hell would he talk and look at me at the same time..? isn't it stupid? his stupid friends are really stupid. i just have nothing else to say. to think that he was a nice guy was such a wrong thinking. i just asked him if we could be friends, but they'll think the wrong kind of thinking. they thought i like him like WHAT THE HELL..?! bloody fools. i don't even wanna look at their pathetic face. guys are really brainless.

he wants to talk bout me, but i care less

girls, have you ever hear of guys gossipping girls? i'm sure you have and guess what?! i've actually found one! he's the most idiotic person in this world until i don't even know what i should say about him. and the most stupid thing is, last week wednesday, our seniors organized an outing called ''multimedia day'' where all mutimedia design students gather together for some activities and such. well, we went to Time Square to watch Transformers and i met that idiot's friend. i never talk to his friends before and so, i don't know any of them. but guess what his friend did? i was standing there and he was like ''oh! i know you! you're serena!'' and i was like..''how did you know my name?'' and i raised my eyebrows. he said''..oh, you're ''quite'' popular among us..'' and the moment he said that, i knew straight away that the idiot has been talking about me to his friends. his friend is as stupid as him. if he never mentinoned my name and pretended that he never knew me, i wouldn't know that they have been talking about me. see.? stupid,isn't it?

designing like a pro..?

i hate assignments. i mean who doesn't? especially for my case, designing is like...you have to think, and think, and think just for the right concept. last two days ago, i was having a conceptual design practical class and we're supposed to hand in our assignments by week 7. so, before we hand in our assignments next week, we're supposed to show our designs to our respective lecturers. the title was ' plane to shape transformation '. a hard assignment where we have to crave our brains till midnight just to change some simple shapes into something else. you might think it's easy but it's not. it just sounded easy. but anyway, as i was saying, we're supposed to show our work to our lecturers, right? well my lecturer is quite nice. when he sees our work, guess what he said? he didn't scold us, but what he did was like shooting us with insulting words like ''..what kind of drawing is this? it looks like the primary school student's drawing. you're no longer a primary school student you know. you're a designer! and as a designer, you have to draw professionally and bla bla bla...'' well of course he's not saying that to me but i can hear what he said to my other classmates who showed him their drawings. well...what he say is kinda right but, not all people have such great ability to think and draw so well. you know, there're people who joined my course without knowing how to draw or knowing more about computers. see..? well..i still hate this subject. this subject makes my head really pain..but i don't have any choice but to take this subject. now if you'll excuse me, i'm kinda hungry now and i wanna go eat something but don't worry, i'll be back!

>_< hello people!!

hey hey hey people! this is like my first time writing this blog after a long time...>_< i don't even know why i make one blog since i know i'll be busy like hell. silly right..? but it's cool too!! it's like a diary and i can write a lot of crappy things in here. i can't really write much for now but i can tell you that there're a lot of ''exciting'' things that have happened around me nowdays..( but it's mostly regarding me..)...well..that's all i can write for now..i'll try to update my blog when i'm free..haha..twoodles!